fuck.

It`s been 4 days now...

all night I stay awake dazing at the emptiness in front of the TV, rolling about on the couch, or dreaming with my eyes open.... occasionally i`ll walk..outside, or just round the house.. I`ve tried everything, pills, exercise, fucking yoga crap...everything.. but nothing. I`m shattered 99.9 percent of the day... in the morning when I go to school... in the afternoon, in the evening...fuck.

and there seems to be no end to it...i don't know what triggered it, if there ever was anything that did..all I know is that i`ve lived these past 4 ( or, maybe 5?) days in a zombie like state.. everything seems so detached and far away...

logging on my computer doesn't help... i`ve been lurking the art forum searching for something to do, like a contest or some fuckshit project to keep me occupied, and to get me back on my feet, since I`ve been slipping away from my "artwork" ( if that`s what we want to call it) more and more in the past month or so... I don't seem to have anymore ideas.. at least, not exciting ideas that used to get me up and pumping, and every time I try and think of one i simply feel to fucking out of my mind to think.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK!!!

i guess i`ll go watch South Park again... and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again....

and have a beer every time they kill Kenny......

..bastards.

god I`m tired.